i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
