Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
