no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
