last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
