Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
