I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Ladies don't puke and tell
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
