Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
