can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
