Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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