i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
