i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
