school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
