We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
