Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
