is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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