just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
