I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
