You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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