Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
