You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
