bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
