I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
