I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
