it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
