I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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