Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
