We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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