I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
