PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
