omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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