I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
