i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
