maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
