I want to stick my p in your. b.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
