2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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