Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
