but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
