Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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