Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
