Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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