I think I am morally bankrupt
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
