she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
