Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
