I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
