foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
