I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
