So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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