Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
