The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
