Define "chronic" masturbator.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
