No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
