Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
