R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
